insert interesting title here later

Pressure off at work for the week, so although I missed breakfast as I started at 7am, I luxuriated in a chicken club baguette from Greggs at lunch. Shocking. I am ashamed.

My last tea from Tesco tonight, as it’s home tomorrow for a week’s holiday tomorrow. Huzzah!

I had a packet of McCoys (257 cals) with a cup o tae [sic] when I got back in, followed later by chicken sandwich (370) Space Raiders (135) – and that’s the crisps again btw, I’ve not been eating extraterestrial life or anything – yogurt (100) and milk chocolate buttons (175). That’s 1,047, plus the evil chicken club baggy, but even this being the case I should still be sub 2000 cals for the day. Pain in muscles haas subsided after my pathetic exhertions earlier in the week, so will go off now and get down and dirty with some press ups

Bugger Wednesdays

Utter shite day at work. 12 hours long, couldn’t have had breakfast or lunch if I wanted to. Which I did as a matter of fact.

For tea it was a pot of Tesco cheese & tomato pasta (535 cals) Tuna & cucumber sandwich (380) Beef Space Raiders crisps (135) and milkybar buttons (165).

No exercises today. Too shattered and fucked off.

The hard calorie maths

Hard day at work today, and even if I wanted to eat, I had no chance until 6pm.

Returning to my little nomadic worker’s nocturnal world of the Travelodge and the Tesco Metro, I purchased my evening feast from the latter with an interest in being able to put an exact figure on my calorie intake (It’s all rock and roll with me).

I bought and consumed:
1 Tesco light chicken sandwich (285 cals)
1egg & tomato sandwich (315 cals)
1 bag of cheese & onion McCoys (258 cals)
1 bag Walkers salt & vinegar (180 cals)
1Muller light Yogurt (100 cals)
1 bag milkybar buttons (165 cals)

That’s a total of 1,303 (mental calculation so don’t hold me to that figure).

Even addingg in coffees and teas through the day, that’s not bad effort.

Obviously goes without saying not sustainable, but interesting all the same.

What do you mean not interesting?

The first day

A decent day. Up at 5am to catch the train to work for the week. Nowt but a large white coffee takes me up to lunch at 1pm.

And then lunch. Well, it was what it often is – a Greggs carryout. But in fairness I always go for the “healthy” sandwich option. (You might not know by the way that North Korea is apparently developing a child-friendly nuclear device). Today the healthy, calorie-laden option was a cheese savoury stottie. Anyone who does not know what a stottie is needs to  get themself to Newcastle (Greggs HQ).

Or search for it on google.

A coffee to go with the stottie. For tea I had a chicken sandwhich and a bag of Wheat Crunchies. (Crispy Bacon. 148 calories).

That has been it, and I’m quite happy. Normally I would have had a sandwich (egg & bacon softie from Greggs – NAP) for breakfast, and a last course for tea. (Twice last week I embarked on a dangerous 2 vanilla slices for a pound adventure from Tesco, which cost me 700-800 calories a time).

I’ve also met my pathetic, though in my defence, intitial, target, of 100 sit ups and 20 press ups.

Huzzah!

The Beginning

I am fat.

I have always been fat.

Sometimes I’ve been a Colin Montgomerie, moobs-showing-a-bit-through-the-v-neck sort of fat.

Sometimes I’ve been a one-at-a-time-please fat, with a tub of Lurpack spreadable for a neck and two Ginsters pasties for thighs.

In truth, that’s not quite fair. I’ve never been point and laugh morbidly obese  fat. At the same time though, I have often been technically obese (going by the letter of the NHS law) and all through my short yet chubby 24 years, weight has been a bother. Not in a cry myself to sleep each night sort of a bother. It just stopped me losing my virginity quicker, which really should have been a good a reason to lose weight much sooner.

Anyway, at the start of the year, I and a few cyber-buddies (how sad does that sound) from a betting forum (ooh, betting, now we’re back to being rough heathens) made a pact to lose weight. The daily, anonymous, asinine weight loss-related chit chat helping a lot of us. The link to that fatty chat I post here presently and helpfully. Not so helpfully, alas, the forumis only accessible to members. Any Betfarians lurking in the shadow, Shirley you’ll want to jog your memory:

http://site.forum.betfair.com/jive3/betex/ThreadsFrameset.jsp?forumID=58&threadID=1782221

I started the year at 15 stone 7lb (that’s 217lb for those of you who were smoking behind the bike sheds when the 14 times table was instilled by Mrs Atom). By the start of April I had ducked under 14 stones. (Not literally, by the way).

The key to success was really very simple. Eat a bit less, exercise more. In fact tell the truth, I didn’t even exercise all that much. I did a few sit ups, press ups and toning exercises, but very little cardiovascular work.

Still, with a little dedication and application, I was able to lose weight, and it really did make a difference. I noticed a jaw line in photos taken of me. Once, I accidentally purchased a slim-fit shirt from Burtons, and when I wore it, I didn’t look ridiculous.

But in the past few weeks, I’ve taken my foot off the pedal. Out has gone my rather minimalist routine; in has come a rather disconcerting trait to make regular trips to Greggs for breakfast and lunch. Although as I write I only weight 14 stone dead (or alive for that matter), my dieting quest definitely needs to be whipped into shape.

Starting tomorrow then (all these things start on a Monday) I want to:

1) Record on this blog all food intake, count calories and limit where possible to 1,500 cals or less

2) Partake of a minimum “toning regime” of 100 sit ups and 20 press ups a day

3) Partake of one piece of “significant” cardiovascular activity per week (sex doesn’t count).

4) Less drinking. Cringing at the thought of this, but shall we say to drink no more than one night per week, with maximum intake approx 5-6 units unless intertwined social event dictates the need for massive piss-up.

That will do for now, time for bed. Greggs opens in just 9 hours 8 minutes.